What Now?
by kristy267
Summary: Marie has always done everything like her brother Dallas. When he dies Marie has trouble figuring out what she's suppose to do now. 13 year old girls aren't suppse to be alone in the world. But is Marie really as alone as she thinks she is?
1. Chapter 1: Talk To Me

**a.n.: So, this is just a "try and see what happens" story. I never thought I'd be posting this, but it's driving me crazy just sitting and doing nothing with it. This story could be crap, or it could be great; I'll never know unless I post it, right? Review Please! :) **I Own Nothing Outside of Marie****

**Chapter One**

**Talk To Me**

"Your not the only one who lost them!" I screamed in his pale, depressed face.

All Ponyboy did these days since... _that _night, was sulk. Nothing more, nothing less. Didn't he see we all had lost Johnny and Dallas? We all loved them just as much as he did. Heck I missed one of them far more then he could ever know. Sure, Ponyboy had lost his parents just as his brothers had, but had he lost his only family? No. Dallas was all I had left. And now he was gone...

But the rest of the gang are at least _trying _to get past their death. Ponyboy on the other hand just wanted to dwell on it,. He need to try and have a life. Have a life because Dallas and Johnny will never get that chance.

"You don't think I know that already?" Ponyboy yelled right back at me. "That's all anyone says to me anymore!"

"Then listen to us for once!"

It was late, we were both mad at the world, but more at ourselves. We were standing in the park, near the fountain where all this mess started. Everything that had happened two months ago all really lead back to the night Bob was killed. If Johnny hadn't stabbed Bob, Pony and Johnny wouldn't have had to go to Dallas for help. Then the boys wouldn't have run away, Dallas wouldn't have come to see them, the church wouldn't have caught on fire and Johnny wouldn't have gone into save the kids. Both Dallas and Johnny could be alive today if that one night hadn't happened the way it did.

Pony glared at me with those green eyes. "Just leave me alone, Marie."

"I just don't see why _you _seem to be having a harder time with _my _brothers death then I am. I'm at least trying to get over it. But you just won't accept that their gone."

Since we moved down here from New York, things have been so different. I was instantly part of the greaser gang, no matter what anyone said. Dallas wouldn't go anywhere with out me, simply I wouldn't leave his side. For a long time I wanted to be just like my brother. I tried to do everything he did, even the things he told me not to do.

I heard Ponyboy and Johnny one day, saying something about Dallas' word being law. It might have been that way for the others in the gang, but not when it came to me. I might as well have been in change of Dallas. He couldn't get rid of me for anything. Not that he wanted to most of the time, Dallas liked having me around just as much as I liked being around.

"Leave me alone." Pony repeated, this time he turned from me and started to walk away.

I wasn't about to let him just walk away from this. He had to talk to someone. _Anyone_. And right now, I needed someone to talk with too, though I'd never admit that to him.

I grabbed his arm and spun him back around to me. "No." His glare was deadly. "Talk to me, please." I tried to keep my voice as nice and calm as possible.

"Marie, there's nothing to talk about." I wasn't getting anywhere this way. I was just getting more upset with him.

Pony pulled his arm from my grasp. He started to walk away again. The anger in me just kept raising. My hands became fist as I glared daggers at the back of his still slightly blonde hair. My breathing hiked up, I clenched my jaw. Then before I knew it, I was jumping at him. I landed hard on his back. I had time to punch his ribs a few times and land a few good blows to his face even though it was pressed mostly to the ground.

Just as quickly as I was on his back, I found myself being penned to the cold grass. Ponyboy sat atop me, his hands holding my arms firmly down. I saw a scarlet line running down his chin from his nose. Serves him right, maybe I knocked some sense into that thick head of his.

"What... was... that?" He asked though breaths.

"A cry for help? A way to show you can't fight?" I said sarcastically. He glared at me some more. I sighed. I waited for him to get off me, but he didn't even attempt to move. "Are you going to get off me or what?" I asked irritated. He was older then me, but we were close in height and weight, but that doesn't mean I wanted him sitting on me.

Pony stayed where he was at, staring now instead of glaring at me. In the dim light, the green in his eyes over shadowed the gray. His face softened as he studied my face. And soon, I was calculating his features myself. His pale complication, his almost life-less green eyes, those pink thin lips, his cheekbones, the way one stray piece of hair dangled over his face.

For the first time in at least five minutes, Ponyboy moved. But not in the way I thought he would, instead of getting off me, he leaned forward. Closer and closer his face got to my own. His lips grazed mine. I didn't quite know what to think when his lips met mine full on, but I did kiss him back.

I'd had a secret crush on Pony from the day Dallas and I got here, I guess this meant he liked me too. Our lips fit nicely together, it wasn't a rushed kiss or a hard one. It was gentle and sweet, like a brother would give his sister on the forehead. I could taste blood on his lips, it wasn't gross, but it made the kiss that much better. The blood taste and the sweet taste of his lips, almost like a perfect blend together.

"Aw, isn't this sweet?" The kids voice ruined the moment.

Pony was off me and standing with in seconds. I was in a slight daze from the kiss so I didn't quite get up as fast. Sitting on the fountain were four boys all dressed in rich looking clothes. I'd seen Dally have it out with these guys a few times and yet they still kept coming back for more. It was like they enjoyed getting there asses beat.

"Come on, Marie." Ponyboy said taking my arm and walking the other way. What? Did he not know I could protect myself? I really hated it when the gang did that. They would leave me out of fights or go out of their way to protect me. I'm Dally's younger sister, but that doesn't mean I can't fight. After all I learned from watching Dally, I know all he knows.

"Hey!" The tall blonde boy called from behind us. "Why don't you stick around a bit? We don't want any trouble." I heard his friends snicker.

"Sure, just like Bob didn't." I muttered without thinking. Pony stopped walking and looked at me. His eyes were hard again, all the softness and gentleness from before had vanished. I looked down.

Pony didn't like it when Bob or Johnny or any of the ones who have died were brought up. None of us did, but it seemed to bother Pony more then most. I guess the kid couldn't take death.

He dropped my arm and walked on ahead of me. I rolled my eyes and followed him. Such a sensitive boy.

I glanced at the sky; from the looks of it the time was past midnight. Past his curfew but that was no surprise. The kid was always getting in late, which drove his older brother, Darry, up the wall. Pony really should get a watch or something. I almost laughed at that thought, he could have ten watches strapped to each arm and would still come in late.

As I walked behind Pony my mind wondered. Back to the good days; when Johnnycake was like he was, before he got beat up. The kid was never the same after that night. He became jumpy and scared of just about every thing.

Johnny and Pony were the youngest of the gang, besides myself. I was only thirteen - but coming up fast on fourteen. I might as well have been sixteen though, I acted older then I really was. I looked older then thirteen too, with my jeans and black t-shirts.

I wore my hair in a ponytail most of the time to keep it out of my face. I did however, make sure it was long. I'd never once had my hair cut and wasn't planning on gettin' it cut anytime soon. My blue eyes matched those of my mothers, and my hair was a dirty blonde like my dad's. I wasn't tall like Dally, I was about five foot' five and proud of it. Most guys don't think a short girlie can fight, so it makes fights I win that much more enjoyable.

Once, I remember Two-Bit saying I was nothing but a sissy little girl. He hasn't called me a sissy little girl or anything close to it, since. I guess he doesn't want a beating like that again. The sad part is we were in the Curtis house and Two-Bit had plenty of chances to get a good hit in, but he did nothing. Maybe it was because I was a girl, or maybe it was because I was Dally's sister, I might never know. But either way, I taught that boy a lesson he may never forget.

"'Bout time you got home." Darry's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "What happened to you?"

I glanced around; Two-Bit was laid out on the couch, fast asleep. Soda was seated on the floor in front of the couch and Darry was was coming out of the kitchen.

With Two-Bit already here taking up the couch I guess it was either the uncomfortable arm chair in the living room or the lot for me tonight. Buck had told me I could come to his place whenever, but no way was I going to step foot in that place with out Dallas or a real good reason. I hated it there when Dallas was alive, I hate it even more now that he's gone. Most nights I spend here but I guess Two-Bit had beat me to the punch tonight.

"Sorry, I lost track of time." Ponyboy said, pulling his coat off. "I..um...fell." Nice lie there, real believable. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes.

"Sure about that, little brother?" Soda asked standing from his seat to get a better look at Pony's face. I looked down when Soda's eyes moved from his brother to me.

"I might have... over reacted while we were talking." I said before 'Baby Curtis' had a chance to tell another bad lie. He fell? _Really_? That's all he could come up with? I bit back a comment when I saw Soda's eyes narrow and Darry's lips tighten.

"It's no big deal," Pony chimed in, "It was just as much my fault as it was hers."

"I'm...I um..." Saying 'I'm sorry' was like trying to speck Latin. If you don't grow up specking the language it's difficult to use. "I'm sorry." I finally choked out.

Ponyboy gave me a small smile. "I'll live. No worries. Right guys?" He asked turning to his brothers. They heisted then nodded. "See? All's good in love and war. Goodnight, Marie."

The way his eyes sparked with life for a moment brought a smile to my face. Even if Sodapop and Darrell weren't to happy with me, at least Ponyboy wasn't mad. But that spark of life was quickly over shadowed again with that constant dead look in his eyes.

"Night," I replied. Before throwing a glare at Two-Bit's sleeping body for taking my spot.

"You okay?" Soda asked, looking me up and down with a smile playing on his lips.

I copied him. "Are you?"

He smiled and shook his head. "I am. But are you? You look a little off."

"What's it to ya?"

"Just making sure our youngest gang member's okay." Soda answered with a shrug.

"I'm fine." I lied. Truthfully, I had this terrible urge to crawl in a hole and just disappear.

Soda nodded. "What ever you say." He started for his and Pony's room. How did he know I wasn't okay? Was it that noticeable? God I hope not...

"Night Marie." Darry said throwing a rare smile my way before disappearing into his room.

I sighed. So, the chair or the lot? I was about to go with the chair until Two-Bit started snoring. I throw up my hands. "Great," I narrowed my eyes at Two-Bit, "The lot it is."

As I was going out the door I grabbed Pony's jacket, he wouldn't be needing it tonight.


	2. Chapter 2: Nightmare From the Dead

**a.n.: Yay! So it looks like I'll be continuing on with this story. :)**

**Chapter Two**

**Nightmare From the Dead**

It had gotten cold in that short amount of time I spent with the Curtis boys. The night air went right though my jeans to my legs making them feel like ice. I wrapped my arms around myself. Pony's jacket kept the cold off as best it could, but my arms still froze. I walked around, not really wanting to go to the lot. Sure there was a couch or two there, but a bed would have fit my liking far better.

_It's your fault... _A voice whispered in the back of my mind. _Their dead because of you._

Being alone, meant I didn't have much to do except think. And thinking, lead to guilt. That voice? It was more right then I ever wanted to admit. It _was _my fault. Maybe not Johnny killing Bob, but that fire killing Johnny sure was. God why did I have to be so much like Dallas all the time? Following him up to that church was the biggest mistake of my life.

"Why'd you do it?" A familiar voice questioned from behind. I swung around and my heart stopped.

Dally was dressed in the same thing he'd worn the last time I saw him; jeans, wife-beater under a flannel shirt, and a leather jacket. It had been a cold night when the Police shot him. His hair was all over the place and looked like it hadn't seen a brush in weeks. Skin the look of a corpse - ash colored and decaying - and his eyes were black bottomless pits.

"You can't be here," I said faintly, "I watched you die."

"Why, Marie?" Dallas asked again, the sound of his voice made me sick. He sounded so _normal_. It was just wrong to hear that voice coming from that body. "You lit the fire. Johnny's dead because of your mistake. _I'm _dead - "

"Stop it!" I screamed. This was all to much. He couldn't be here,_ he couldn't_! "It was an accident!" I never got the chance to tell Dallas it was me that set the church on fire. I'd been to scared at first, and then it was to late.

Tears ran swiftly down my cheeks. He hated me. My own brother - my _dead _brother - hated me.

"You set the fire on purpose. You killed Johnny because I cared for him and not just you."

I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out his voice. "No! I didn't kill him!"

Then, Dallas was right in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulders, and glared down at me. My heart broke at the hate and disappointment in my brothers eyes. "Admit it!" He shouted in my face.

"I didn't kill him on purpose! I swear, Dallas!"

I couldn't stand seeing him look at me like that, I closed my eyes for a moment and was attacked by images. That night Buck came up and told Dally, Ponyboy and Johnny were there to see him... Pony's scared face... Johnny surprising calm... the fire... the fights... Johnny dying in front of my eyes... Dallas getting shot... Sodapop shaking me - what?

"Maire!" Soda screamed in my face, as he shook me roughly. "Wake up!"

I sat up right, breathing hard. When Sodapop kept shaking me, I smacked his hands away. He let my shoulders go and took a step back, looking me over with concern.

I looked around, I was on the couch at the Curtis house. All three brothers were awake and staring at me with wide, confused eyes. Two-Bit was also up, looking half asleep. I looked myself over, I was in Ponyboy's jacket. Looking around the room, it was clear Dallas wasn't here.

"What was that all about?" Soda asked.

I snapped my head up, to look at him. "Your the one shaking people, you tell me."

"Your the one screaming about killing someone!" Two-Bit exclaimed, looking more awake now.

"I didn't kill him!" I instantly protested, seeing Dally's glare in my mind again. "I swear!" Tears sprang to my eyes, and fear shot through me. Did they know? If anyone of them found out about my setting the fire... they'd never forgive me. I'd be totally and completely alone with out the gang. Please, oh God, _please_, don't let them know!

"Whoa," Darry said holding up a hand, "just calm down. What were you dreaming about?"

"Dream?" That had been a dream? But it felt so _real_... it was more like a nightmare. "The Shepard's..."

Ponyboy sat down next to me, he took my hand in his. "Go on."

"Something about a rock and a window," I couldn't tell them the truth, so I made up something as I went along. "Um... I was fighting them and hit Tim to hard. Curly told me I'd killed him." The same images from before I woke up started flashing though my mind. I started to tell them about the images but changed my mind.

"How did you end up on the couch anyway?" Darry asked. That was a good question...

Two-Bit then exploded in laughter. "You guys missed it! Man, what I wouldn't give to see you do that again, Mar." We all waited for Two-Bit to say more but he didn't, he just stood there laughing his head off.

"What'd I do?" I pushed, I can't think of any reason as to why he'd find something I did this funny.

"Well let's see... where to start...," Two-Bit put a hand to his chin like he was thinking. "Picture this: Marie's walking out the front door just as I wake up. I tell her she can have the couch. I must have scared her because she jumped, turned to look at me, tripped over her feet and _BAM_! Hit her head on the door frame, and totally passed out!" Two-bit explained, smiling brightly the whole time.

"That still doesn't tell me how I got to the couch," I said, hating the looks on the boys faces and the burning in my cheeks. They were all inching to laugh at Two-Bit's story.

"How do you think?" Rolling his eyes at me. "I put you there."

"Thanks," I told him, confused as to why he did it. Any other person would've woken me up, laughing and telling me to make it to the lot by myself. Wouldn't they?

"No problem, Little Dally." I looked away from him. Why would he call me that? Knowing I didn't like my brother being brought up.

I heard three loud noise's that sounded like someone getting smacked, I looked up to see Two-Bit rubbing his head with a sour look on his face. Ponyboy, Sodapop and Darell had there eyes narrowed at him. I smirked a little. Poor Two-Bit.

**XXX**

"Is she really okay?" I heard someone whisper. I wasn't ready to be woke up and was tempted to pull the pillow over my ears, but thought better of it. Who ever was talking, they were talking about me. I had a right to listen in.

"Marie, says she is but she's not. She's nothing without her brother. He was her only family, Soda. Would you be okay if you had no one left?" That was Pony, his voice wasn't as deep as Soda's.

"I wish there was something we could do for her..." Was I hearing things or did those words just come out of Steve's mouth?

"She's lucky she's got a couch to sleep on." Darry said. I could feel all their eyes on me now. "Don't glare at me like that, Pone. I didn't mean it in a mean way. I just meant Marie is lucky that she moved here, there's no telling where Marie would be now, if she were still in New York."

"If I were still in New York, Dallas would still be alive." The words spilled out before I could stop them. I bit my lip, wishing I could take the words back.

I could feel the tension raising in the room as the silent seconds ticked by. Finally, I rolled over to face the gang. My eyes met Pony's, and I swear I ain't never felt so bad for saying something in my life. His face looked like I'd just slapped him or something.

"I... I didn't mean... It wasn't your fault. I just meant - " What _did _I mean?

Ponyboy looked down for a moment. "I'm going for a walk." He muttered, not looking up as he went out the door not even bothering to grab his jacket.

I groaned and buried my face in the pillow. Why did I always have to say something wrong?

Wait, this isn't my fault. He shouldn't take things so hard! That thought just made me feel worse. Pony couldn't help that he was sensitive.

"I'll go talk to him." Soda said, standing up from the floor and going out the door.

After that, the gang dropped off one by one. I wanted to leave myself but where did I have to go? I had to get a boyfriend, a job or something. I couldn't stay at the Curtis' for the rest of my life.

"Mind if I take a shower?" I asked Darry, hesitantly. Money was tight around here, and I probably wasn't helping with my being here all the time, eating the Curtis' food, using their water.

"Sure, just try not to use up all the hot water." Darry said with a shrug.

I dragged myself off the couch and into the small bathroom. As I was taking off my clothes I realized it's been more then a week since I've had a shower and I've probably been wearing the same clothes for at least two weeks. _Gross_! How did I ever go that long? Why did I wear the same clothes so long? Wait, where _are _the rest of my clothes? Bucks... great. As much as I hated it, I'd have to drop by there and change.

Once the hot water from the shower hit me, all my troubles seemed to melt away. I felt my muscles relax. I forgot about everything but the water. The pain of loosing Dallas seemed to store it's self away for now. I forgot I had no real home, no real family. Nothing mattered right now but how amazing the water felt as it washed over me.

Then all to soon I remembered I couldn't use all the hot water. With a sigh, I turned the water off and grabbed a towel hanging on the rack. I was wrapping it around me when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Marie?" It was Soda.

"Yeah?" Don't tell me he needed the bathroom...

"We found some of Mom's clothes... I think they might fit you. If you want to wear them, I'll just leave them here at the door. Darry's making some breakfast too, if you want some."

"Um... okay, thanks." Yes, I will feel bad for wearing Mrs. Curtis' clothes but Soda did offer them to me and it sure beat going to Bucks for my things.

I waited a few seconds, to be sure Soda was gone before I creaked open the door. As I picked up the clothes I prayed no one saw me, or else I'd never hear the end of it. I got lucky and everyone stayed in the kitchen.

I was a little surprised Mrs. Curtis' clothes fit me but then again she had been a small women. The only thing that wasn't a perfect fit was the shirt. Since my hair was wet, and it drys a whole lot faster if I just leave it down, I used my hairband to tie the shirt bottom around me. Then it fit snugly.

Looking at myself in the mirror and I couldn't help smiling. The shirt - it was one of those button down, long sleeved ones with a collar, women wore when they get dressed up - Soda'd given me was a light purple and looked nice with my hair color. The jeans surprised me. I didn't even know Mrs. Curtis had a pair of jeans! She wore dresses and skirts most of the time I'd been around her. The jeans were just simple and plain but looked good on me, much better then the clothes I'd been wearing for the past two weeks.

I could hear several voices coming from the other room when I came out. Steve and Two-Bit must've come back for food while I was in the shower. Boys and food are like dogs and whistles. When I walked into the kitchen, no one noticed me. I stood against the doorway and watched them all fool around.

Soda kept trying to steal Steve's cake, while Two-Bit followed Darry around the kitchen talking a mile a minute. Ponyboy was back, but didn't look all that cheerful.

"Would you shut up?" Darry yelled, at Two-Bit.

"Do you have any idea how many times a day I get that?" Two-Bit laughed, right before diving into yet another pointless rambling topic.

"Soda don't - great, now look what you did!" Steve yelled, jumping up from his seat. Soda had been reaching for some more cake off Steve's plate, Steve pushed his hand away and ended up knocking over Pony's glass of chocolate milk.

Ponyboy got up, I figured to get something to clean the mess up with knowing Soda or Steve wouldn't bother. He stopped when he saw me in the doorway. His mouth fell open a little, and I watched his eyes moved over every inch of my body.

"Don't just stand there clean - !" Darry stopped short, as he too looked at me.

I felt my face grow hot when all eyes landed on me.

"I knew they'd look good on you!" Soda exclaimed, clearly proud of himself.

"Thanks." I said, smiling at him. After a few more moments of staring, they all went back to what they were doing. Darry asked me to get a towel, to clean up the milk, and I gladly left the kitchen.

I was coming back with the towel when I bumped into Pony. I smiled at him, hoping he'd smile back but he didn't. He just looked me over again, shook his head and disappeared into his room. I frowned, confused.

Was he still upset about what I'd said earlier? Had I done something else to make him mad? I couldn't think of anything I'd done within the last few minutes that would upset him. Unless...unless he didn't like me in his mothers clothes. Was that it? Soda didn't seem to mind and Darry didn't either. Why would Pony?

All these questions were giving me a headache.

The rest of the day, Ponyboy made sure to have nothing to do with me. If I came into the living room and he was in there, he'd get up and leave. If I was in the kitchen, he'd wait until I left before stepping foot in there. It was really starting to get on my nerves after a few hours. I withheld saying anything, though. It wasn't until late that night that I found out what was up with Pony.

**a.n.: So, any ideas out there about what's wrong with Pony and why he's treating Marie the way he is? Review Pretty Please With Sugar and Greasers on top! :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Escape

**a.n.: Okay, so Angela Shepard is in this chapter and she's totally OOC. But it's Fanfiction, we can make the characters act however we please, right? Sorry, if any one liked her better the way she was in That Was Then, This is Now.**

**Chapter Three**

**Escape**

I was looking though the fridge for something to make for dinner, seeing as everyone was here, when Pony came in. He walked over to the toaster to light a cancer stick. I gave up on my search and settled with just getting a glass of chocolate milk for myself.

I looked over at him, with a friendly smile. Ponyboy glared back at me before looking down at his feet. That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I _had _to know what was up with him.

"What's with you anyway?" I demanded, not meaning to sound as hateful as I did.

Ponyboy's head snapped up. "What's with _me_? What's with _you_?"

"What?"

Pony rolled his eyes. "Look at yourself: eating our food, sleeping on our couch every night, wearing clothes that don't belong to you. Since when do you have the right to live here?" His words stung.

"I'm not living here!" I defended myself. Even as I said it, I knew it was a lie. Where else was I going to live? Bucks? The lot? The street? "People are in and out of your house all day long, eating your food and sleeping on your couch. Besides, Soda said I could wear these."

"No ones here as much as you." I hated the fact that he had a point.

"I have no where else to go, Ponyboy!" I yelled at him, standing up from my seat at the kitchen table. The living room had grown quiet, and I knew everyone was watching Pony and I fight now. Perfect.

"What about back to New York?"

"I can't do that..." I looked down then. I liked it here, I considered the gang pretty much my family. I couldn't go back to New York, not by myself. Things were too rough up there. He knew that just as well as I did.

"Why not?" He spat. "No family?"

I jerked my head up, and glared at Ponyboy. He returned the look. "Your right, I have no family." I clenched my jaw in anger. "And, you know who's to blame for that?" I asked, through my teeth. I watched Pony's glare soften. "_You_."

"I didn't get Dal killed," Ponyboy tried to protest, but his voice was to soft and I could tell I'd gotten to him.

I laughed bitterly. "Who went into the church first, Ponyboy? _You_! Johnny followed you, like an idiot. You got both Johnny and Dallas killed!" I screamed, leaving out the truth about my playing a big role in the deaths. I saw the tears forming in Pony's eyes, but didn't care how much I was hurting him at the moment. "_You are the reason my brother's dead! It's your fault I have no family!_" I'd never heard my voice get as loud and cruel as it just had.

I stood there, glaring at him for God knows how long. All the anger and pain I'd put aside all this time was finally just to much for me. I didn't truly blame Pony for Dally's death or Johnny's, but at this point in time, I had no one else to blame outside of myself.

Blaming myself won't make the pain go away. Maybe pushing the blame on someone else will help me feel less guilty.

It wasn't until Soda came over and put his arm around Pony that I realized how much my words had hit him. My anger started to turn to plain out pain. I couldn't stand to see Pony cry, so I turned away. When I looked into the other room I saw the rest of the gang standing in the living room with mixed emotions. One thing they all shared was a look that said they wanted to be anywhere but here right now. I knew that feeling. I was feeling like that too.

I couldn't take being in this house anymore, there were just to many emotions here. I had to leave. I didn't even think about where I could go - or lack there of places for me to go at this time of night. But I didn't care, right then. All I cared about was getting as far away from Ponyboy Curtis as possible.

I walked to the living room and right past everyone. I didn't make eye contact with not a one of them. I didn't bother to grab my jacket off the rack, I just walked out into the chilly night.

**XxXx**

"Angela!" I yelled over the loud music, smiling at my friend. "Want a drink?" I offered, holding up a empty bottle. I hadn't realized I'd drunk the whole bottle until I was offering her some. For some reason, that little mistake sent me into a round of laughter.

Angela made her way though the crowd of people to me. From the looks of it, she was the only sober one here. I hadn't planned on drinking as much as I did, but it was too late to take it back now. Besides, I felt ten times better then I did when I got here.

After I left the Curtis house, I'd wanted to go somewhere and just relax; forget all my problems. I knew any party at the Shepard's could - and would - get out of control, but I didn't care. Anything was better then going back to Pony's place.

I was way to young to drink, but so was everyone else at the party. I welcomed this party as a way to drink my worries away. And that's just what I'd done, judging from the empty bottle in my hand.

I'd walked in sober as could be and was going to walk out drunk as hell. The perfect escape.

"Marie? I thought you didn't drink..." Angela said, studying me. The room around me started to spin, as I exploded in more laughter. "Let's get you home." Angela took my arm and put it over her shoulder, knowing I wouldn't be able walk.

I began to shake my head violently. "No! I have no home," I told her almost in a serious tone.

Angela rolled her eyes and helped me out the door. "Of course you do, the Curtis'." Just the thought of going back there made me feel sick. Or was that the liquor?

I moved my arm from her shoulders and took a shaky step away. "I live there I don't!" I protested, trying - and failing - to sound mad. "Wait... I don't live there." Much better.

Angela's eye brows pulled together. "Where do you think you live then?"

I thought a moment then said the first name that came to mind. "With Buck!"

It was Angela's turn to laugh then. "Sorry, honey, you don't. You've barely glanced at that place since Dallas-" Angela stopped herself, probably not wanting to hurt me.

I took a few more steps outside, and thought I was doing good until the ground connected with my face. I groaned as Angela tried to help me up. I pushed her away. "I can...do it." I lied.

"No, you can't." She said, with a groan of her own as she tried to get me upright again.

I didn't protest this time only because I wanted off the ground. It was colder then I remember it being when I left. I looked up at the sky, and saw nothing but shining stars. "So pretty, those stars. There's not much beauty left in the world, but at least we still havestars." I rambled, letting drag me along. "Besides, Ponyboy. He's pretty, too. You ever noticed that, Angel?" Angela smiled and shook her head.

"Your awfully out of it, Hon. You didn't drink that whole bottle did you?" Angela asked, blowing bangs out of her eyes, as struggled to keep me off the ground.

"Yes, I did. Got a problem with it, Shepard?" My words slurred together some.

"Just that I'm left dragging your drunk self home."

"I can't go back there Angel." I was whispering now, but didn't know why. "I was..." What word was I looking for?

"You were... what?" Angela pushed.

"I don't know the word right now... but I can't go back. I blamed him. I told him it was all his fault, Angel. When it's not!" I slapped myself in the forehead a few times. "Stupid Marie!"

"Angela, how could you let her do that?" I heard someone ask, the voice sounded both close and far at the same time. "Self harm, and alcohol will get her no where in life." It wasn't until the person laughed that I recognized the voice.

"Keith!" I yelled out happily. I spun myself around until I found Two-Bit and threw my arms around his neck. "Where ya been, buddy?" I drew out that last word, and he creaked a smile. "I was a little lonely at that party."

"Seems a bottle of vodka kept her company." Angela chimed in.

"Well, it wasn't like you were going to drink it!" I shouted up to the sky, not remembering which direction she was in. The sky went in all directions, so I just shouted to it to be sure she'd hear me.

"We've been looking all over for you, young lady." Two-Bit said, prying my arms from around his neck. He straighted me out so that I could see Angel again before he took hold of my shoulders. "Can you walk?"

"Sure can!" I took a step or two and was proud of myself for not falling again. I smiled at Angela. "I learned to walk when I was this many," I held up what I thought was two fingers, but from Two-Bit and Angel's laughter I guess I got it wrong.

After a few feet of walking with Two-Bits hands on my shoulders, I told him I was sober enough to walk on my own. I knew it was a lie, Angel knew it was a lie and Two-Bit did too, but he let me go any way; though I could feel his hands lingering around me just in case.

I surprised us all when I walked by myself all the way to the Curtis house. I stopped at the fence though and turned to look at Two-Bit. "Keith, you know I can't go in there." I wanted to though. It was awfully cold out, and the house was warm. Pony's arms are warm too... Much like his eyes, when there not glaring holes in my skin.

"Pony's not mad, Marie. He's just..." Two-Bit cocked his head to the side, thinking of what word to use. "hurt."

My head dropped forward and I frowned at my feet. "I hurt him? I didn't mean too..." My stomach was starting feel weird. Was it from the vodka or my guilt? Maybe both.

"We all know that, Mar."

My feet started to spin, and my stomach decided to start turning cartwheels. I wrapped an arm around my churning stomach and kinda lunged forward.

"Keith?" I whispered, as everything around me blurred together.

"Yeah?"

"Catch me." With that my eyes closed, and my body fell forward.

**a.n.: Review Please! :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Yelling

**Chapter Five **

**Yelling **

"She's only thirteen, Tim!" Someone roared causing me to jerk up. I hated myself right after. My head throbbed and felt like it was about to explode; my stomach was still doing cartwheels and whoever was yelling wasn't making me feel any better.

"Marie came to that party all on her own. She drunk that vodka, _all on her own_. Don't blame me for her decisions!" Tim Shepard, yelled just as loud as the other person.

"It was your party, you should have been paying more attention to the people around!" The voice belonged to Darry, I now realized.

"Okay, fine, it's my fault Marie got drunk." I could feel the tension and I wasn't even in the room with the loud mouths. I heard footsteps then the slamming of the screen door.

I thought that would be the end of the yelling, but it was just the start. I heard so many voices yelling at once, I couldn't figure out which voice belonged to who. After about three minutes of non-stop yelling my head hurt so bad, I couldn't take the noise any longer. As much as it would kill me to get out of the soft bed I was currently in, I had to get something to stop this throbbing and get those idiots to shut the hell up.

It wasn't until I made it out of the room that I realized who's room I'd been in. Ponyboy's and Soda's. If I was in there... then where did they sleep? When I made it to the living room, I saw blankets on the couch and on the floor. Oh, so they slept in here. For a second I felt bad for taking their bed, but that didn't last long. That yelling _had _to stop!

No one paid me any attention when I walked in to the kitchen. The gang was all here, along with Angela. No one seemed to be yelling at one person in particular, they were all just jumping from person to person.

"You should have just left her at that party, Angel!" Steve shouted before he turned to Pony. "Don't beat yourself up kid, Dallas and Johnny's deaths weren't you fault."

"It wasn't Marie's either!" Angela yelled, at Steve. If she only knew the truth I thought... I shook those thoughts from my mind though, I had to forget what I'd done.

"If it wasn't Marie's and it wasn't mine, then who's fault was it?" Ponyboy asked.

"No ones!" I was surprised to hear Soda, shouting along with them all.

"We should have stopped her from going out last night." Two-Bit said shaking his head.

"Blame Superman for that one." Steve muttered.

"Hey, don't go blaming me for anything! Marie would have left no matter who tried to stop her last night." Darry defended himself.

Steve opened his mouth to say something else, but my hand was over his mouth before he could get anything out. I closed my eyes against the bright light that was now hitting my eyes like lightning. I almost smiled when all the shouting stopped.

"_Please_, stop yelling." Each word came out in a weird gasp. It wasn't until then that I realized I was breathing heavily, like there wasn't enough air going to my lungs and I couldn't breath out fast enough.

The more time I spent standing, the more I felt like I was about to pass out. But I couldn't do that. It was bad enough I'd passed out last night and had to trust Two-Bit and Angel to get me inside; I mean I'm Dallas Winston's little sister! I really wasn't living up to my brothers reputation.

I had to be hard as nails, cold as ice, like Dal. But how? How did he do that? It was like nothing ever got to him. How could anyone go on like that? No, I take that back; Johnny got to him. Johnny was like a brother to Dal. I liked the kid and all, but he wasn't as special to me as he was to Dallas.

Every time I thought about Johnny and the bond he shared with Dallas, I felt a ping of anger towards Johnny. Didn't I matter to Dallas? I know Johnny meant a lot to him, but more then his own sister? Thinking about Dal in the state I was in, made me want to crawl in a hole and just rot away to nothing. I might as well have been doing that, it's not like I had much to live for now that Dallas was gone.

What did I have? Pony and the rest of the 'em. Dallas had the gang too and that sure didn't stop him from going off and getting his dumbass shot. What kind of brother does that to his little sister? Just leave her with nothing but a bunch of greasers. Nice way to show the love, there dear brother.

"Marie?" Steve's muffled voice brought me back from my world of ranting thoughts.

I jerked my hand from his mouth, wondering how long I'd been lost in thoughts of Dallas. I slowly opened my eyes to be met with blinding light. I swore and flicked the kitchen light off.

"Want some aspirin?" Soda offered. My first reaction was a nodded, but then I thought of a better idea.

"No," I said, feeling my way over to the kitchen table and sitting down. With my elbows on the table, I rested my head in my hands.

"Are you sure? I hear it helps with hang overs." Soda said somewhere behind me.

"I said I didn't want any!" I shouted at him without really meaning too. The sound seemed to hurt me more then the words hurt Soda. I groaned in pain, burring my head deep into my hands. "I'm...well you know." I couldn't bring myself to say 'I'm sorry' right now.

"Yeah, it's okay."

The minutes ticked by and little by little they all seemed to file out of the kitchen. In the time it took for five minutes to pass, only Pony and I were left in the dark kitchen.

"What were you thinking about?" Pony asked softly, whether it was because he knew I wasn't feeling to hot or because he didn't want anyone else to hear him, but either way I was grateful he was whispering. "You know, after you told us to stop yelling."

"Dallas." I muttered moving positions. I folded my arms on the table then used them as a pillow for my head as I turned my head so I was facing the direction of Pony's voice.

"I thought so... Marie, I didn't mean to get Johnny killed." That last sentence, he rushed through, as if he was afraid he wouldn't be able to say it if he said it normally or slowly.

I opened my eyes. There was a small bit of light coming in from the living room and I could see nothing, but Pone's face. He looked like he was about to cry again. I suppressed a groan, that was the last thing I needed right now. I was tempted to talk to him, tell him I didn't mean anything I said the night before, but lost the nerve just as I opened my mouth.

Instead I got up from the table and walked out the door. I wasn't ready to talk about Dallas. I felt bad the minute I walked out though. Wasn't it just a few nights ago I was almost begging Ponyboy to talk to me? And now when he wanted to, I just get up and walk out on him.

I knew just what I needed right now, but I didn't know where to find it. Who did I know in this neighborhood that would give me alcohol? I thought this over for a few minutes. Tony!

I glanced back at the Curtis' house, having second thoughts. Was drinking really the best idea? The throbbing in my head was what made me walk away from the house and down the road, heading for Tony's. Having a few drinks wouldn't hurt, would it? The most it would be was get rid of this damn throbbing, and I'd gladly give it up if all it took were a few drinks.

Tony lived a few houses down from the Shepard house, so it didn't take all that long to get there. Though, as I walked I began to wish I'd brought a jacket or something. It was coming up on December and the days just kept getting colder. The only thing that kept me walking right past the Shepard's warm house was the thought of the alcohol. I didn't care if he had beer, liquor or whatever, all I knew right then was that I needed something.

I knocked on the front door of Tony's house and it came right on open. I pecked inside, but didn't see no body. I took a few steps in and called, "Tony, ya here?"

A few seconds later, I heard Tony called out, "Yeah! In the back!"

I breathed a sigh of relief, I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been here. I walked on in and headed to the back of the house, the living room. What kind of house had the living room in the back? Leave it to Tony and his folks to love a place no one else would.

"Marie, long time no see!" Tony said happily when I walked in the room. I gave him a slight smile before crashing into a green armchair, as far away from the bright TV as I could get. "What brings you here?" Tony asked, after a few minutes of silence. "Wait, don't tell me," Tony looked me over then smiled. "I know just what you want." He got up from his seat on the couch and disappeared in to another room. Another minute later Tony returned with two beers. I gave him a real smile that time.

"Tony, your a life saver." I said, twisting the cap off my beer.

"Anything for you, sweetheart." He said with a wink.

Tony went back to his TV program and left me to enjoy my ice cold beer. As the tasty liquid ran though my body, I knew this was a good idea. Who needs to talk about the dead when you've got beer? Not this gal.

I sat back and tried to watch TV, but whatever Tony was watching didn't hold my attention. Instead I found myself staring at my friend. Tony wasn't even a year older then I was, towered over me by at lest two feet, had the brightest blue eyes and jet black hair. He was always relaxed, hardly anything could get this boy upset.

He was a grease, but didn't do as much fighting as the other guys. He spent most of his time doing what he's doing now; watching TV. Over all he was a pretty loyal friend and always seemed to be there when I needed him. Not many people trusted him, but that was just because they didn't know him. I didn't know Tony all that well myself, but what I did know about him, made him okay in my book.

Once I'd drunk my problems away, I curled up in Tony's armchair and drifted off. Even though I was sleeping in an armchair, I think I slept better there then I did on the Curtis' couch. Maybe it was because the throbbing in my head was gone or I was drunk, but either way, I was in love with that armchair.

**a.n.: So, thoughts on Tony, Marie, or just the chapter it's self? Leave me a review and share what you think! :)**


	5. Chapter 5: Ponyboy the Doctor

**Chapter Five**

**Ponyboy the Doctor  
**

"Rise and shine, Sunshine," Tony's voice drifted into my head, as he shook me awake. Why was he grinning like the village idiot? "I've got a proposal for you."

"No, Tony, I'm not going to marry you," I muttered, sitting up as he took a few steps back from the armchair. A quick glance out the window behind the TV, told me it was in the early morning hours. My head was clear and my stomach settled, thank goodness.

Tony laughed, and when he spoke I noticed his words were slurred. "There's a fight going on a few blocks down, the Shepard's wantta know if your interested."

Fight's meant punching, punching meant anger release. This could be the best news I've heard in a long time. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, stood and stretched my body out like cat. "Between anyone I know?"

"A special few." I raised one eyebrow at him in question. "It's been rumored that your girlfriend, Angela, might throw a few punches tonight." There was something he wasn't saying, I could see it in his mischievous eyes. I waited, and finally he broke. "Alright, Steve and Soda are gonna be there." That most definitely meant, I was to be there too. Darry probably didn't know they were here, Ponyboy would be murdered by his brothers if they caught him there, and Two-Bit was... well, no one ever really knew what he did in his spare time. Someone had to look out for Sodapop and Steve, right?

Ten minutes later, Tony and I walked into the Shepard's house, only to be pushed back out by a crowd of people. Apparently, in our absence a fight had already started. Tony followed in the crowd of on lookers, but I made my way into the house.

It didn't take long to find Angela, seeing as she was shouting as loud as her lungs would allow at some red haired chick. Among Angel's watchers, I found Soda and Steve. Naturally, they were already placing bets on who would win. If I had any money, it'd be on Angel. She was pretty ill tempered right about now.

"I don't do one-on-ones," The red head called out over my friend.

Angel laughed harshly. "From what I saw last night, when you were jumping into bed with _my_ boyfriend, you do."

The other girl just brushed off the insult. "The only way we're going to do this, is if my friends can join in." A moment later, two other girls stepped up behind her.

Angela clenched her jaw for a second, until her eyes landed on me, and then a wicked smile spread over her pretty face. "Alright, Rachel, if that's the way you want it." Angel nodded at me, then inclined her head to the left, a gesture for me to join her.

I manged to take a step forward, before I was stopped. Soda's hand clasped around my upper arm as he held me in place. "What do you think your doing? You shouldn't even be here."

Here we go again. Did he really think I could hold my own in a fight? I wasn't some little girl who didn't know how to defend herself. "You don't own me," I snapped, pulling my arm away.

As I moved to join Angel, my eyes were fixed on Soda and Steve, who didn't look in the least bit happy about my decision. Well, it wasn't their problem. If I got the stuffing beat out of me, then so be it. If I managed to get through this scott free then good for me. What happened to me, shouldn't matter this much to them.

And in the back of my mind, I knew all of that was a lie. The main reason I'd even showed up was to make sure someone had Steve and Sodapop's back. I had to come, to watch out for my friends. Granted, they were probably just trying to do the same for me, at the moment I didn't feel like truly admitting that to myself. Damn, I'm such a hypocrite at heart.

**XxXx**

I had little right to ask for his help, not after the things I said to him. But if not him, then who? Trust is slim around here, so I figure I'm lucky to even trust one person.

Keeping as quiet as possible, I eased Pony and Soda's bedroom door open. My footsteps were unheard as I tiptoed into the room and over to Pony's side of the bed.

"Are you plotting my death or do you just like watching me sleep?" His voice startled me so much, I jumped and would've fallen over were it not for the dresser. As I braced myself against the smooth wood, Ponyboy choked on a laugh.

"I _had_ come to ask for your help," I said. "but that death plotting suggestion sounds pretty good now." Ponyboy sobered up at the word help. He slipped out of bed and followed me out into the hall.

"What is it you - " He'd been asking when I flipped the bathroom light on. "Good Lord!" His words changed when he caught sight of my face.

"Shhh!" I listened to see if he'd woken Darry. I knew Sodapop and Steve were still over at Tim's place. I'd barely managed to slip by them without being asked any questions. "It's not as bad as it looks." Hopefully.

Pony looked at me doubtfully. "Have you even _looked_ at yourself?"

"Of course," I lied. "My face isn't the problem." I hesitated in showing him what the actual problem was. "Turn around."

"What? Why?"

"Unless you want a full on view of my woman parts - "

"Say no more," Ponyboy interrupted, as his ears turned bright red. Once his back was to me, I removed my shirt and held it over my chest. The only thing Pony would see was my bra straps and bare back.

"Alright, you can look now," I saw him turn paler then healthy in the bathroom mirror when he saw my back. "That bad huh?"

"What happened to you?" Pony breathed, eyes glued to my wound.

"Underestimated some Rachel girl over at the Shepard's. I didn't think she'd be dumb enough to pack a blade." Pony reached under the sink for the first aid kit as I talked. "How bad am I, Doc?"

"In need of a real doctor," I opened my mouth to protest, but he kept on talking before I could get a word out. "but I know that's a lost argument. So, your going to have to settle with my pretend medical skills and pray you don't bleed to death."

"I trust you know what your doing to keep me alive."

"If only I had that much trust in myself..." His voice trail off as he began doctoring up my war wound.

I tried to keep as still as possible, but that was harder then I thought it would be. Whatever Tony had given me, was some strong stuff. I didn't feel thing, even though I knew I should be in some serious pain. The cut went from the left side of my lower back, across to my spine. Though, it wasn't the length that worried me, but the deepest. Rachel probably would have kept it going, if I hadn't swung around and broken her nose.

Pony looked so focused, as he cleaned and bandaged me up. It was hard to look away from the determination that sparked in his green eyes. I was actually a little disappointed when he straightened up and declared he'd done the best he could.

"You should put your shirt back on," Pony suggested as I turned my back to the mirror, in an attempt to get a better view of his work. Though I kept my eyes trained on Ponyboy's handiwork, out of the corner of my eye I watched his face turn a shade of pink. It was rather cute the way he got so embarrassed so easily. "Wait, do you even have another shirt?"

Guilt hit a little to close to home just then. I looked down at the shirt I held over my chest, and remembered a little to late that it wasn't mine. Great, just great. If things hadn't already been bad enough, I had to go and ruin a dead woman's shirt. Ponyboy's mother's shirt at that. If he hated me for wearing it before, he'd really loathe me now.

I slowly turned to face Pony and gave him a sheepish look. "This wasn't exactly my shirt. Soda - "

"Marie, I'm aware of what clothes you own and don't own." The tension in my shoulders eased up when he smiled. "I didn't ask who's shirt that was. I know it was my mother's. Do you need a shirt or not?"

"Unless you know what happened to my clothes from two days ago, then yes."

"All you had to say." Ponyboy surprised us both then, when he leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek. Before I could even ask him why he'd done it, he had already disappeared.

God, that boy really knew how to keep a girl on her toes. He might not intentionally be trying to make me fall for him, but I was. I'd had a crush on him for the longest time, but something had changed between us recently. My feelings for Pony, have started down a road that goes deeper then a crush. It wasn't possible that I was falling in love with him... was it?

Pony came back a minute later, empty handed, with a confused expression on his face. "I don't know how Sodapop did it."

"Did what?"

"Picked out the perfect shirt for you, as if it was second nature or something." He reached out and wrapped his hand around my wrist, before tugging me along behind him. "You can wear anything you want." I almost didn't believe my ears when he placed me in front of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis's closet.

"Really? Anything at all?"

"If you like and it fits, wear it." Ponyboy stepped out of the room just long enough for me to slip on a new shirt.

"I don't understand, Pony. Why the about face?"

From the guilty expression that crossed his face it was clear he knew what I was referring too. "Marie, it's not that - Well, you see -" I'd never seen him struggle with words until now. "It was just surprising how beautiful you looked in that outfit. I'd seen my mom it the clothes, and never gave it a second thought how she looked in the. Why I was so upset, I couldn't tell you. I guess it was just the idea of someone else in my mother's belongings, you know? I'm more alright with it now."

It was the beautiful comment that made my heart flutter. And I realized then that my earlier thoughts were confirmed. It was highly likely that I was falling in love with Ponyboy Curtis.


	6. Chapter 6: Waiting for the Punchline

**a.n.: I've changed my mind on deleting. I've been inspired to continue. :)**

Over the next week, things seemed to fall back into place. Fighting became less of a common thing between the gang and I. Ponyboy spent a large amount of time with me too. He asked about my back often. I had to lie as to not worry him. I told him it stopped hurting and was healing fine. When truthfully, it hurt like hell and was outlined in a deep scarlet. I'd been around long enough to know when to get worried about wounds being infected. Something told me the cut on my back was well on it's way to something I should be worried about.

No need to worry the others though. I'd figure out something to do about it sooner or later. Just as long as I didn't have to set foot near a hospital. I knew if I told anyone of the gang bout my back, they'd do everything in their power to get me a doctor. I, on the other hand, was going to do everything in _my_ power to stay as far from doctors as possible.

In my eyes, doctors didn't help people. They pretended to help when really they just stood around and watched people die. I'd seen it happen with Johnny. I'd seen it happened with Dallas, too. No way was I going to let it happen to me.

Ponyboy and I were sitting in the living room when we heard something break in the next room. When we reached the kitchen, Steve was cleaning up a broken plate.

"Y'all put an explosive in that cake mix or somethin'?" I questioned, looking around at the messy state of the kitchen. It looked like someone had thrown chocolate cake mix all around the room. These were grown men, didn't they know how to mix a cake without making such a large mess?

"Not a bad idea," Two-Bit said, flashing me that million dollar smile of his. "Can we do that next time, Dar?" That gained him a quick glare from Darrell.

"It should be purple," Soda grumbled, as he slipped the cake into the oven. "It's a girls cake for peters sake."

"Soda, it's a chocolate cake. You can't turn it purple," Darry told his little brother in a timid tone, while I tried to figure out why they were making a cake. Was it a holiday or something?

I grabbed a paper towel and attempted to clean up the mess the men had made. The paper towel was plucked from my hand after only a few minutes of cleaning.

"What do you think your doing?" Pony questioned. He placed his hands on my shoulders and moved me from the counter to the closest kitchen chair. "No work for you today, young lady."

I rolled my eyes as the rest of them nodded in agreement. "And just why aren't I allowed to clean?"

"No one should have to do manual labor on their birthday," Two-Bit chimed around a mouthful of chocolate icing. Darry snatched the container from him with a sour look. Two-Bit just grinned in mocking delight.

My eyes drifted over to the calender. Sure enough, the date read December third. The day I'd been brought into this unforgiving world. My own birthday had slipped my mind.

I was fourteen years old, but I didn't feel any different. Just as guilty. Just as confused.

"Want your present now?" Ponyboy asked, poking my shoulder to get my attention. Present? We were all as broke as broke could get. They shouldn't have gotten me anything. Pony didn't wait for my answer. "Tell her, Dar."

All the attention was shifted from me to Superman. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. His hair was slicked back and he was dressed in what he normally wore to work. Specking of work, he should be heading out soon. Soda and Steve had the day off with it being Thursday.

"It's not exactly a present," The eldest Curtis informed me. "More like a propitiation." He paused and shared quick looks with his brothers who nodded in encouragement. Darrell's eyes fell on me again and he smiled. "We want you to move in."

Silence followed. I waited for the punch line, but Darry never delivered one. I looked from Pony to Soda to Darry, waiting for one of them to laugh at tell me they were just joking. No such thing happened.

"Wait, a minute. Your serious?"

Darry looked a little confused. That made two of us. "Of course I'm serious, Marie."

"We wouldn't joke about this," Sodapop added. "We figured you could use our parents room as your own."

"Well?" Pony prompted.

I sat there a minute in stunned silence. If I said yes, I'd have a home. A room of my own. I wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. It'd be like having a family. A real family and a real home. It was almost to good to be true.

"Yeah. " I felt a smile spread across my lips. And for the first time in a long time, it wasn't a fake plastered on smile. "Okay."

Now all I had to do was keep from this screwing this up...

**xxxx**

I'd once thought if I never heard another Hank Williams song again, it'd be to soon. Yep. Still true.

The country singer's voice boomed through out Buck's place. How he put up with all these people here all night was beyond me. If it was my place, I'd have kicked their asses out long before now.

"You gonna be long?" Ponyboy shouted over the music. He kept close as I jogged up the narrow staircase.

"Shouldn't be," I answered though I doubt he heard me over the noise.

Much to my surprise, the room Dallas and I had once shared wasn't much different from when we'd left it last. My chest ached a little at the sight of Dally's things. Angel had been right the other night, I hadn't been here since my brother's death. I just couldn't bring myself to come before. Truthfully, I hadn't much wanted to come now. But, I couldn't keep wearing Mrs. Curtis's things either.

Ponyboy seemed more hesitate to enter the room then I did. Sadness was etched into his features. It made me wonder why I'd asked him, of all people, to come with me. Pony was the most sensitive of us all. Why would I request the company of the one person I knew coming here would hit harder, then it hit me?

I started out doing what I'd come here to do - pack a bag of clothes for myself. Though halfway through packing I found myself getting sidetracked by Dally's belongings. Neither of us owned much of anything worth owning outside of our clothes, but just seeing his clothes in the small closet made my heart cry.

I almost breakdown in tears when I picked up his clone. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was right there with me, wearing the stuff. Before I had always complained when he wore it caused it made my nose burn from having such a strong scent. Now, I'd give anything to have Dallas here with me dabbing it on.

"Hey, you alright?" Pony asked in that gentle voice of his. I'd almost forgotten he was here.

"Yeah," I lied. I put the clone bottle back on the dresser before it caused my eyes to turn into a waterfall.

"You know, it's okay to cry."

I shot him a sidelong look. "Don't start with that chick flick sappy stuff."

Pony shrugged one shoulder. "Just reminding you."

**a.n.: Review Please :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Busted

**Chapter Seven - Busted**

I promised myself I wouldn't do this anymore.

It was risky and could very well destroy all the progress I'd made being here with the Curtis brothers. But money was tight and no one would give a job to a fourteen year old girl known for getting into trouble. Pony was already talking about getting a part-time job after or before school. I knew I had to bring some cash into the house one way or another, and this was the only way I knew how.

Dally had taught me how to present myself to ensure all went well. He said I should dress nice and pack some heat. A gun was out of the question, but a blade would work just as nicely as any gun. I'd gone with Dallas a couple of times to make trades and figured I knew enough to do this one job. When a deal went bad last year with Dallas, I promised myself I wouldn't result to this. I wasn't cut out for this line of business and didn't want to keep that kind of company. But what's a girl to do when she's low on money?

I told the others I was going to bed early. Then I waited for them all to drop off and hit the hay as well. It would all go a lot smoother if they didn't know where I was going or what I had planned.

I put a bandage on my cut so that no one would see how gross it looked before working my way into the one nice piece of clothing I owned. The dress, despite having it for over two years, fit like a charm and still looked nearly brand new. It was a deep red, made from cheap silk and looked nothing like a girl my age should own. It was strapless and fell to just above my knees and showed off more than it's far share of my back. A pair of Mrs. Curtis's heels matched nicely, even if they were a half-size too big.

The night held a cruel chill and the sky was a charcoal black. I decided the window was my best escape, just in case someone was a light sleeper. Pony's jean jacket would have been welcomed, but it would have thrown off my look and the bandage did that enough.

My heels clicked down the sidewalk. The small purse I set aside for these kind of events smacked against my legs as I walked. At this time of night the lot seemed like a good place to visit. The closer I got to the hang out, the more often I checked for the blade I'd slipped into my bra before leaving. Pulling a knife on someone instead of fighting fair wouldn't be my finest hour, but it was better than ending up dead on the pavement because of a deal gone bad.

Low voices greeted me when I reached the lot. I spotted Angela shoving her tongue down some guys throat and relaxed a little. If Angel was here it couldn't be all that bad, right?

Unlike my friend, I found myself having to talk to the shadiest looking characters at the lot tonight. I put on a fierce face to show them I wasn't one to be messed with, knowing all the while my dress threw that off. But, if Dally said this is how I should be dressed, then I would dress this way. Dead brother or no dead brother.

"What can I do ya for?" I think the man who spoke owned the name Will, but I couldn't be sure. He'd been the one to deal with Dallas though, I was positive about that.

"Looking to buy."

He continued to regard me with a board expression. "Buy?" He repeated innocently.

I rolled my eyes without meaning too. "You are still in the business, aren't you?" He didn't answer. "Fine. I'll take my money somewhere else." I turned to walk away, and he caught me on the elbow.

"Whatca want?"

I twisted my arm out of his greasy hold and held my tongue. "Pills."

Ten minutes later I was leaving a couple twenties shorter than when I came, but my purse had a new occupant. Will had no idea the kind of money I could get for these little blue babies at the party going on at Tony's. His lose, my gain.

The party was in full swing. Several people danced, most of them well past drunk at this point. I pushed my way through the crowd until reaching the back. A door sat in wait for me, slightly ajar. Strong smells of pot slapped me in the face when I opened the door enough to step inside. The five people taking up the room looked up when I entered. Smiles crept across faces and eyes light up, as well as they could in the fog settling over most of their gazes.

"Marie!" Tony shouted a little too loudly for the room. He leap off the chair I'd claimed not too many nights ago, stumbled over and tossed an arm around my shoulder. "Got anything good for us?"

I side stepped and his arm fell away. "Depends on how much you're willing to pay."

I tugged the purse over my head as I sat down in the chair Tony had just gotten up from. He frowned when I took his seat, but said nothing. Good choice too. Best keep his mouth shut and the money flowing if he wants a hit at what I've got to offer. The plastic bag with the blue pills I'd basically stolen from a dealer earlier tonight came out of my purse and hands shot out instantly. I held the bag tightly as to not give any of them any ideas. The pills bounced in the bag when I shook them in a teasing manner.

"How much?" Some kid I surprisingly didn't know asked in an off-balance voice. His eyes were alight and glazed over at the same time, gaze locked on the pills like they held the answer to life. If only.

"How much you got?"

The kid dug deep in his pockets only to come up with a hand full of one dollar bills. He looked up at me hopefully. I returned his look with a glare. He sighed, shrugged and fell back into his seat. Obviously he wasn't gonna be much of a payday for me, so I turned my attention to the others gathered in the room.

Soon, I had a purse full of money that was now void of pills. Little did any of them know, I'd paid less than a third of what I'd gotten them to pay.

Tony tried to talk me into staying, but I'd done what I needed to and knew it was time to leave before something went wrong or my wrong deeds took an even worse turn. I did agree to have one beer with him before I left. Having laid off the sauce as of late, the beer went straight to my head. I left the party with my world tipping from side to side and my stomach flip-flopping. Normally I could hold my liquor better; it was almost sad the effect the one beer was having on me.

I took my heels off on my way back because they were really starting to bug me. The bandage on my back itched and my dress was uncomfortable. I was beginning to wish I hadn't had anything to drink.

"Late night?" The voice, though familiar, startled me nonetheless. I turned around quickly to put a face to the voice. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me and then I realized it must have been the beer causing me to see things.

"You're dead," I called to my brother who stood a few paces behind me. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his jacket was pulled tight around him as if he were fighting off the cold. I didn't know dead people got cold.

Dallas half smiled at me. "Dead men don't talk to their sisters."

I shrugged largely. "Never much pegged you for much of a man, Dal," I teased before turning back to my original direction.

"Watch it," He snapped and I could picture the glare crossing his face. I pressed my lips together, fighting back giggles.

Quiet footsteps followed behind me now. It took him no time at all to fall into shorter strides right next to me. He use to do that a lot when he was alive, always changing small things about himself to match things of my own. I hadn't thought anything of it when I was little, but as I got older it started to bug me. How could I live up to being just like my brother if he took himself to lower levels to be like me?

I turned my head to stare at him. Dallas looked much like he had the last time I'd seen him. I hated that my last memory of him was of him dead instead of alive and wished I hadn't been there to see him shot. Damn cops and their trigger happy selves.

"What you looking for?" He asked suddenly, glancing at me.

One of my shoulders lifted then fell. "Nothing. What is it _you _want?"

His head dropped a little and he looked much younger than he was. It was times like these that I felt special. Johnny might have been Dally's favorite, but my brother had never trusted him like he did me. I was the one person on this planet that ever managed to see Dallas vulnerable. He could open up to me and let his guard down a little - two things he never, _ever _did around anyone else.

"I'm lonely, Marie." There was a pause and then he asked, "Why don't you join me?"

I stopped walking. The heels nearly fell out of my hand. I stared long and hard at my brother and wondered if I'd heard him wrong. Dallas stopped walking as well and stood in front of me now. It wasn't until then that I noticed I could see right through him. His skin, body and clothes, were all foggy and transparent. The sight was unnerving and scared me more than a little.

"I - I can't do that, Dal," I stammered. "You're d - dead."

His expression shifted and he looked like I'd slapped him. "But it's your fault I'm dead. You owe me, little sister."

I took a step back, hurt. "It's not my fault!" I protested, knowing that wasn't true.

"Like hell it isn't," He snapped, face changing again to glare harshly at me. This was the Dallas most people saw.

Dallas opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. At first I didn't know why, until I saw a familiar figure coming my way. Dallas hung around a moment longer, but disappeared just before Ponyboy walked right throw his transparent self. I stood there like an idiot, glancing around, expecting Dally to reappear somewhere else.

Pony stared at me expectantly and I realized he must have said something I hadn't heard. I shook my head, as if to clear it, but nothing became any more clear to me then before the action. Instead, it just made my world spin. My feet lost their balance, causing me to sway.

"What are you doing?" Ponyboy repeated his question.

My mouth scrambled for an answer. "There was a party. Not that I went to the party - well, I did go. But not to party. I wasn't doing anything wrong - not exactly." Pony stared at me with a completely lost expression. I didn't blame him, I wasn't sure of what to make of what I'd just said either. I tried again. "I was just there to see Tony, and he happened to be having a party."

"Yeah. Right," Pony deadpanned, eyes moving up and down to take in the exposed skin and dress. I wrapped my arms around myself in a very sad and late attempt to hide myself. My arms couldn't hide how much leg this dress showed off, nor any of my bare back or shoulders. I suddenly felt more exposed standing there in front of Pony than I had all night. "You wanna tell me the truth this time?"

I decided to play off my emotions, only doing the opposite of what I felt. I placed my hands on my hips. "Since when do I have to explain myself to you, Ponyboy Curtis?"

Pony closed the distance between us. He placed a hand under my chin, pulled my face to his and kissed me. "Since I started doing that," He whispered.

For a moment I forgot about my dead brother, the beer I had, my uncomfortable dress and the cold air around me. How was it Pony had the effect to make my whole world center around him, and him alone?

I smiled. "Feel free to do that any time you want."

He nodded, took a step to the side and took my hand in his. "On one condition."

"Name it."

"You tell me what you were really doing tonight."

"Name anything but that."

"Marie."

"Pony."

He sighed loudly. I mocked him and gained myself an eye roll. Pony started walking and tugged me along with him. The rest of our walk was done in silence seeing as I wasn't willing to spill about what I'd been up too. When we reached the gate of the house, a new thought hit me rather late.

"Wait." Pony stopped and looked at me with raised brows. "What were _you _doing?"

He suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Just getting some fresh air." That was a lie. Pony started towards the house again, but I pulled him back.

"Yeah, a whole block away from the house. Seriously, what were you doing?" I pushed. Ponyboy just didn't go out and party like other guys. He went to school, got good grades. The boy had a good head on his shoulders. Taking a late night stroll was about as likely as him spending all night at a party on a school night. It just wasn't his way.

He leveled his stony gaze with mine. "I asked you first."

He wouldn't like my answer. He'd have a huge issue with my answer. If he wanted me to be honest, he'd have to deal with the answer I gave him. Pony wasn't ready for the honest answer, so I wasn't going to give him one at all. I dropped his hand, pushed past him and stomped up to the porch. Ponyboy trotted right behind me.

"It's a simple question, Marie," Pony whispered once on the porch. I suppose he figured he might be over heard if he spoke at normal volumes.

I opened the screen door. "With a not so simple answer, Pony."

We were both inside now. Pony was shrugging out of his jacket I should have grabbed earlier and I was slipping the purse from around me.

"Just give me a hint," He urged in a hushed voice.

"I was making money." Pony came up short, his eyes darting over my dress again. I knew what he was thinking just by the look on his face. "Not like that, you idiot!" I punched him on the shoulder and considered never wearing this dress again.

Ponyboy started to say something, but was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Both our heads snapped to the left and we saw Sodapop standing against the fridge. Pony and I exchanged glances, thinking the same thing: _busted_.

* * *

Well it only took a year, but here's chapter seven. So, so sorry it took so long! Review please? :)


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